101 Ways to Annoy Lord Voldemort
by Ashly Potter
Summary: For reasons unknown, one girl stands in the Deatheater house with a list of 101 Ways to Annoy Lord Voldemort and a demand to set them to work. But with other Deatheaters (including some guy named Adam) in the way, it could be difficult.
1. Default Chapter

I sat there, just sort of staring at the walls. I'd already been through most of initiation; I had to stupid tattoo and I'd pledged myself to Lord Voldemort, but now I was going to live in 'headquarters' with all the rest of the fugitives. I sat there across from a desk, absentmindedly picking at my robe as I waited for Lucius to finish whatever he was doing.

"Right then," he finally said, setting some sort of paperwork aside. I looked up and blinked. "Well, you seem to check out just fine. No record of you has been found anywhere, so I believe your right to trust." I nodded. I'd been doing a lot of that lately, because I was afraid that I'd said anything, I might just burst out laughing at what I was about to accomplish. "You room will be down the hall, to your left, and five doors down," he handed me a key. "Thank you, sir!" I said, putting on my best smile. He looked at me, slightly disgusted, and then left. I followed him out and then went to my new room.

My bags had already been brought from wherever they check them (making sure no spies of Dumbledore are making their way through) and the room had (obviously) not been cleaned. I shook my head, it didn't really bother me much though, I was used to a messy room. I grabbed a book from my bag and tore out two pages from the middle, admiring them:

'101 Ways to Annoy, Harass, Confuse or Generally Scare Lord Voldemort or: Sure-Fire ways to Get Yourself Killed. (Or At Least Crucio'd Round The Block and Back Again)'

Of course, I didn't plan on getting killed. Maybe Crucio'd, but it'd be worth it! I put the pieces of paper in one of the desk drawers and dusted a bit around the room. A few cobwebs here and there, but (luckily) no spiders. I _hate_ spiders.

Well, as soon as I was done with that, I decided to take a walk. Locking the door behind me (you could never be too careful around a bunch of Deatheaters); I set out to explore the rest of the house. Like my room, it looked as if it'd never been clean, or at least not for the past 100 years. Here and there, people passed each other, talking in whispers and plotting against other Deatheaters so that they could become higher in status. Suddenly, I was reminded of the wizards in Discworld.

Well, anyway, who should I happen to bump into on my walk but Bellatrix Lestrange herself. Oh, how I _hated_ her! But, I couldn't let it show; after all, I'm trying to pass as a Deatheater here, therefore I need to act as if I admire her. Erg. "Hello, Mrs. Lestrange," I said, in my most polite voice that I could manage.

She looked at me as if I was a mere peasant and her the Queen, "Hello...?"

"Oh, just call me Eviolla," I said, still smiling. It was the name of one of my characters from my original story, so I guessed it was safe since I didn't remember anyone by that name anywhere else.

"Right," she said once more in that annoying way of hers. "You must be new."

"Oh yes, very new, just got here today!"

"You seem a bit too cheerful."

My face dropped; oh crap. "Am I, er, not supposed to be?"

"Oh no, it's just that _all_ new recruits always seem a bit too happy at first."

Oh thank Eru. "Oh, I see."

"Well, I'll be going," and she left. Didn't even say 'good-bye.'

Bitch.

Well, anyway! A few hours later, I walked back to my room, smiling. Tomorrow, the torture would commence...

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling own Harry Potter and all things related. '101 Ways to Annoy, Harass, Confuse, and Generally Scare Lord Voldemort' can be found at MuggleNet . Com under the heading 'Too Big A Fan'


	2. Way Number 1

Way Number 1: Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

The next morning when I woke up, my back was a little stiff from sleeping on that God-forsaken mattress all night. It's no wonder all the Deatheaters are murderous when they sleep on _that _during the night. I yawned and stretched a bit, then took out my list from the drawer and read the first thing:

Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

'Oh yes!' I thought to myself, it was the perfect chance to introduce who I was to the Deatheaters and Voldemort. Quickly, I got up and got dressed in the blackest robes that I'd owned. When I was done, I walked outside (locking the door behind me) and down the hall where, once again, I met up with Bellatrix.

"Good morning Mrs. Lestrange," I said nicely.

"Good morning, Eviolla." Oh, good, she remembers my name. "We'll be having a meeting with His Lordship this morning, as we do every other day."

"Oh," I said, "thanks for telling me."

"Oh yes," she said, that look from yesterday still on her face, "I believe you have potential, young recruit." Oh great, I have potential. I'm not quite sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing though.

"Thank you Mrs. Lestrange," I said, smiling again. Oh good, a meeting today, which means I get my first glimpse of old Moldy Voldy. Bellatrix then walked away down the hall; presumably to her room.

While walking down the hall, I almost broke out in song, but then realized that this probably wasn't a very Deatheater-ly thing to do and shook whatever song I had in my head out. Instead, I began thinking how when you rearrange the word 'song' you get 'snog'. Coincidence? I think not.

Well, anyway, eventually I got to the 'meeting room' where old Moldy Shorts was waiting for all Deatheaters to sit down. I figured that I would be best _not_ to perform my task until _after_ the meeting. I wanted to keep whatever feeble trust I had now gained from Bellatrix and I didn't want to piss off the Deatheaters just yet.

I didn't exactly listen through the entire meeting, to me it basically went, "My Deatheaters blah blah blah Potter blah Dumbledore blah blah blah Ministry blah Phoenix...ect." It was rather boring and I couldn't understand how anyone could stand it. Reason number 1 on why the Order is better: Dumbledore gives _much_ better speeches.

So after an hour of only pretending to listen to what was going on, the meeting was over. Oh thank Eru! I didn't think I could take much longer of _that!_ Of course, I'm going to have to; Bellatrix said we had a meeting every other day. Sheesh

I put my hood up so that when I went over to talk to him, he wouldn't recognize me. "Excuse me! Lord Voldemort, sir!" I called out, running down the hallway. I was glad no one else was there; I must have looked like an absolute moron running down the hallway like that.

He stopped and looked at me in a more extreme way then Bellatrix did; it made it really hard to restrain myself not to punch him. "Yes?"

"Yes, sorry, sir, I just have a really quick question," I said all this while panting and trying to disguise my voice at the same time.

"Speak up! I don't have all day!"

Grr..."Yes, I was just wondering; why don't you have such a cool scar?"

I don't think I've ever run faster in my entire life.


	3. Way Number 2

Way Number 2: Laugh at Him

I swear, if Voldy takes over the world, he better get better mattresses or else all his minions are going to die from either lack of sleep or a very bad back. Oh, ouch! Well, anyway, besides the unfortunate mattress problem, life here at 'The Hideout' is alright. I mean, I have to stick by one of the two people I absolutely HATE, but it's still alright.

I yawned and did my morning stretches so that I could feel normal again and then locked my door and went outside. It was pretty cold inside the house, obviously these people had never heard of a heating system. Oh well, all I could do was wrap my cloak tighter around me and keep walking.

I hadn't been assigned to do anything yet, for which I was very grateful. I wasn't particularly up to going out and killing someone. It just wasn't very high on my 'Things To Do Before I Die' list.

Within five minutes of walking, though, I ran into Bellatrix. I swear, that woman is _everywhere_! The look that she always had on her face when she ran into me was softened as of late, but she still obviously thought herself much better then I.

"Oh, Eviolla!" she called. The name was still fairly new to me; yesterday she had to call me five times before I remembered she was talking to me. "How are you fairing?"

"Oh, just fine." Bellatrix has this way of talking that always seems so...proper. Like I've walked into Middle-Earth or something. I never thought she'd be quite like that. Then again, I never expected to be talking to her at all. "And yourself?"

"Oh, I am just fine. Would you like to walk?" Walking is never good. Walking means talking and I can't do the talking thing very well.

"Sure." See? My mouth gets in the way of my brain and says things I don't want it to.

She started walking at a fast pace and I had to practically jog to keep up with her. "So, Eviolla, how do you like it here so far?"

"Oh, it's everything I expected!" I said, smiling again. Of course, I didn't tell her what I had expected was everything but flattering.

"Remember what I said about smiling?"

"Oh, right." I stopped smiling and just kept a blank look on my face. She had told me that Deatheaters don't smile and that I shouldn't smile as often.

"We should head to the meeting, don't you think?"

"Oh yes, of course!" So, we walked down to the meeting room where I once again had to sit through one of the most boring speeches ever created. If there's one thing I've realized while being stuck in this dingy room with thirty-three other people, it's this; Voldemort likes to look superior. And I mean that in the most extreme way possible. If I started laughing right now, I'd be dead before the third 'Ha'. So I occupied myself by looking at various good-looking Deatheaters in the room (of which there are only four; two are married, one has a girl-friend, and one I am still keeping my eye on and whose name is Adam).

Once the most-boring-meeting-in-the-world part five was done, I put my hood up and followed Voldy Moldy down the hall again. He has the easiest room to follow since it's the biggest one and all the way on the other side of the house. I followed him almost all the way to his room until I made my presence known by pretending to trip.

"What do you want?" he asked viciously.

I raised my hand, pointed at him, and then laughed.

I think I'm going to get the best exercise out of this.

I ran all the way to my room, closed it as quietly as possible, and looked the door. As soon as I made sure no one was listening, I started really laughing. This had to of been the most fun I'd ever had in my life! This was even better then when I was finally told I was tall enough to go on all the rides in Disneyland!

Well, as soon as I was done with that, I decided to celebrate myself by taking part in a little twenty-first century tradition; jumping on the bed while singing. Never mind that the song I was singing didn't exist yet.

"Please take me to your leader! Tell her I will surrender! She has two arms to hold me and four legs to wrap around me! She's not you're typical girlfriend; she's my alien!"

I sure hope this walls are sound-proof


	4. Way Number 3

Way Number 3: Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

I officially hate this mattress; I'll sleep on the floor from now on, it's more comfortable. Looking at the watch I'd brought with me, I saw it was 3 a.m. "Goddamn mattress!" I muttered out-loud to myself.

Stumbling blindly out of bed, I grabbed my list. Next to number three was a note that looked like it had been scrawled in the dark: 'If you can't remember the words to any, try Avril Lavinge or Hilary Duff.'

"Good, he can pay for all the sleepless nights we've had." I quietly put on a lot of black (which was about the only color accepted in this house) and snuck out my door.

"What do you think you're doing?"

I nearly screamed as I jumped around to see who was talking. "Oh...hullo Adam." Great, first time I ever get to talk to only-available-hot-one and he catches me sneaking out. "I'm just taking a walk."

He raised his eyebrow, "At this time of night?"

"Well...yeah! It's quiet now!" Please don't kill me...and stop looking at me like that!

He hummed; then shrugged. "Carry on then." And he walked away.

That was close. I couldn't run into anyone as I was walking down Voldemorts corridor though, might raise much more suspicion...hum

Maybe watching all those stupid ninja movies has finally paid off then! "Oh please Eru don't let me get caught!" I muttered under my breath as I came upon his corridor. Just as I suspected; two Deatheaters were here. It looks like all those hours playing 'Fellowship' and 'Spiderman' weren't wasted!

Playing my own stupid theme-song in my head, I sunk into the shadows and crept along the walls. Stupid Crabbe and Goyle were guarding, so getting past them wasn't too difficult. They mostly just paced and tried to look buff and menacing, not really paying attention to what was going on around them.

"Blend into the shadows," I muttered to myself. I can't remember how many times I've heard that on a video game! "Don't get caught; stay very, very quiet" Top ten reasons I wish I really was a hobbit...

Well, anyway, I eventually got to the other end of the corridor without raising the alarm, but then came the hard part; getting in. Lucky for me, there was a conveniently placed open window above his door, so I just crawled in.

It was a dark and mysterious place that I had jumped into. The walls seemed to ooze green slime (which wasn't fair, mine oozed brown) and the darkness suffocated me. 'No wonder this place isn't clean!' I thought to myself, 'Moldy Voldy's a slob!' Perhaps I could take this down for future notice

I checked my watch; 3:30 in the morning, so perfect! Creeping quietly up to his bed I tried to think of the perfect song. The truth was, I didn't really know any Beach Boy's songs, so I would have to make do with the other two suggestions. I think today might become a sick day for me

I leaned close next to his ear, then, I started sing, "Let the rain come down and wake my dreams" Softly at first, gradually becoming louder, and louder"Let it wash away my sanity! Oh I wanna feel the thunder I wanna scream! Let the rain come down; I'm comin' clean!"

"Arg!" he screamed as I hid under the bed. "Who dares wake me with such a wretched song!" I suppressed my laughter as I kept listening to him. He really did try to be Renaissance a lot. It seems like the Deatheaters never really left the 1600's (Or Middle-Earth).

I heard him stomp out of the room, yell some well chosen cuss words, slam the door, then got back in bed. That was my second cue. "Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated! See the way your acting like you're somebody else makes me frustrated!"

"ARG!!" he started heading for the door again. Now to top things off

"Oops I did it again! I made you believe we're more then just friends! Oh baby baby!" This time he started withering on the floor in pain. Not that I blame him; I'm going to have to wash my mouth out with soap after this

Then I thought of the most horrible thing to sing..."It's Bilbo! Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins! Greatest little hobbit of them all!"

"Make it stop! Make it stop!" he yelled. Alright, maybe that last song was a bit too much.

Later that day, all of the Deatheaters were gathered into the meeting room. Oh was this going to be interesting...

Voldemort entered the room, slamming the door open and glaring at all the Deatheaters. He started pacing. "This morning at around 3, I was woken up rudely by the worst lyrics and singing I have ever heard!" Hey! My singing isn't _that_ bad! Of course, I was trying to mimic the singers, so that might've done it.

After the meeting there was a lot of whispering over who might have done such a thing. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Adam looking at me knowingly.

I am so fecking dead...

Disclaimer: 'Coming Clean' is owned by Hilary Duff; 'Complicated' is owned by Avril Lavinge; 'Oops! I Did it Again' is owned by Brittany Spears; and 'The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins'...well, I'm actually not quite sure who's taking responsibility of _that_ one


	5. Way Number 4

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

The next week was quite interesting. Voldemort banned all singing in ear shot of him; and if he heard you he'd curse you on the spot. Lucky for me, I never left Ballatrix's side unless I was in the comfort of my own room, so I was safe. Unfortunately, Adam was onto me. And he has that odd Elrond-like way of looking at me, too. It's quite unnerving.

Eventually though, Voldie's week off ended and I figured it was high time to do something else.

"But I've never knitted anything in my life!" I yelled at...well, no one really. On the bright side; everything I made was going to look hideous.

Sighing, I searched through my bag for some yarn and knitting needles. After I found them, I started doing my very best to knit. It was supposed to be a hat; it turned out looking more like one of Hermione's woolly bladders, except worse. The best time I supposed I could give him there woolly bladder 'hat' was at one of the meetings.

The next day, right after a morning walk with Bellatrix (today's topic: her family. If she brings up this topic one more time, I may have to kill her.), I went in to the meeting and proudly presented my woolly bladder hat. Then I sat down in my usual spot.

I think I may have burst a lung suppressing my laughter. Instead, I smiled like a moron.

"Erm" old Moldy Shorts didn't know what to say; oh I'm flattered. He eventually tossed the hat into a dark corner (or, rather, just _a_ corner. There really are no 'light' corners in the Deatheater house.) and continued with the meeting.

Adam's staring at me again. With his 'Evil Elrond Stare of Doom' ©. It's really starting to creep me out.

Anyway, I decided that (after I stopped staring at Adam. Bad, fangirlish instincts! Bad!) I'd knit some more woolly bladders as he went on talking about something or other that I really didn't care about.

"What are you doing?" Bellatrix whispered to me.

I shrugged. "Everyone needs a hobby." She was going to say something else, but then shook her head and decided against it.

After the meeting, I gave Voldemort his _other_ woolly bladder, then left. I might not be able to knit for crap, but I can knit for crap pretty fast (In fact, that's probably _why_ it looks like crap. Note to self: Learn to knit. Note 2: Become more British and less American).

So there I sat...in my room...with nothing to do. And suddenly I found myself knitting and humming 'The Remedy'.

Oh! _That's _who Adam reminds me of! Jason Mraz! Except...you know...darker and more mysterious and, um, evil. That, and I've never heard him sing. Of course, that _may_ be a good thing...

By the way, what kind of music was around 95-96? Was that the Spice Girls? Hum...I only remember what my cousin told me, "The 90's was like the Holocaust. The music DIED!" ...yeah, my cousin's weird. Wait, Green Day was around...I can't exactly think of anything else at the moment.

Whatever, my woolly bladder's finished anyway. I could make a bunch and leave them outside his door...hum...

The next morning's walk was rather dull. It might have been more interesting if I'd actually been awake, but I wasn't. I had been up all night knitting (with an improvement! They now looked sort-of-kind-of-not-really like hats.), and then I put them outside his door where he could see him in the morning.

I didn't wake up fully until later in the afternoon when I actually saw several of the Deatheaters and Voldy himself _wearing_ the stupid things. I think I may have seriously died laughing.

"Eviolla? Are you alright?" Bellatrix asked, looking at my oddly.

"Oh yes, just fine," I replied. Oh dear Eru, Lucius is wearing one. It's times like these I wish I had a camera.

Bellatrix nodded. "Aren't those your...hats?"

I ran to my room after that. This entire trip should be recommended to people with a serious lack of a sense of humor.

I tried going back outside, but then I started seeing Frodo's in the hallway and I figured I had actually found a way to laugh myself silly, so I went back to bed.

What a day...


	6. Way Number 5

A/N I give up on my computer. I'm updating. I'm on my parents' computer right now, though, so, even though I have several chapters written, it might take a while to type up. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Way Number 5: Give Him Kangaroo Ears for a Month

My head hurts. My back hurts. I feel like crap. What the hell did I do last night?

Lets see…laughed myself silly at stupid hats…saw Frodo's…found Voldemorts' liquor collection…

Well, that explains a few things. Doesn't explain the dancing Frodo's, but it explains why I have a hell of a hangover. Stupid alcohol. Stupid really, really good alcohol.

Anyway, I guess I should probably get up and do…something. Like clean the room or get lots of coffee.

Coffee sounds good. So, getting up, with much groaning and moaning and cursing at the daylight, I decided that, if any kind of coffee existed, it'd be in the meeting room. I stumbled out the door, walking blindly down the hallway and running into walls.

There was no coffee in the meeting room. Nor was there coffee anywhere else. They really need to get a Starbucks around here.

Anyway, after the disappointment of no coffee, I tried to go back to my room. Unfortunately, I was still running into walls. I thought the Irish were supposed to hold their alcohol better then anyone else! My family has lied to me…

Well, anyway, after a while I made the turn from running into walls to running into a person.

"I'm sorry," he said very quickly and rather loudly.

"'S okay," mumbled, trying desperately to get up while holding my head. When I looked up, I found my self staring into blue eyes. Very big and bright blue eyes.

"Holy crap! Frodo!" Now, besides making my head throb and falling down again, I also made an ass of myself.

"Um…my name is Charlie." Oh, Charlie, the irony is killing me. Well, it's either that or my head. "Were you heading to the meeting?"

"Meeting?" Oh shit! There's a meeting today! "Oh, yeah, yeah. You wouldn't happen to have some aspirin on you?"

"Um…no." Cute kid, not all that bright.

"Would you mind helping me up then? I can't get up." So, once again, I got helped up by a poor confused little Frodo (who I refuse to call Charlie, that's just too weird).

The meeting was _way_ too loud. I don't remember the meeting room being this loud before. And everyone was chatting about something or other. 'Frodo' led me to my seat next to Bellatrix and then sat down on my other side (not that I noticed much).

"Well, good morning, Eviolla," Bellatrix said to me. Her voice was always soft and foreboding, so it didn't hurt my head.

"Morning," I mumbled.

"You seem very…depressed today."

I sighed and lifted my head up. "No, I'm just…my head hurts. I think I'm getting sick." It was then that Voldemort walked in with one of my hats firmly on his head and a snarl on his face. Now, why would that be, I wonder?

Oh, wait! Something's coming…something's coming…oh yeah! I already put Kangaroo Ears on him for a month! That's when I found the liquor collection! Good self for remembering your job.

"Now!" he yelled, causing silence (except for within my head, which was now screaming in agony). "I'd like to get on with this meeting _without_ talking, or knitting, or anything that derives the attention from _me_!" If he's trying to figure out who stole the liquor by seeing who has the worst hangover, this is certainly the way to do it.

The meeting went on…and on…and then it went on some more. In fact, I think this might turn out to be the longest meeting in history!

Well, while he was talking, there were a few things I noticed; 1) Bellatrix listens to Voldemort intently (either that or she's a very good actress), 2) Frodo/Charlie looks about as bored as I usually feel, and 3) Adam wasn't here. Hum…I wonder where he is…

It wasn't until I heard the words 'Deatheater', 'kill', and 'Order' in the same sentence that I started listening. Apparently, a few Deatheaters had gone out to kill a few people, Adam must be one of them.

Funny how he's suddenly not as attractive as he was a couple of days ago.

So, the meeting eventually let out and I sauntered to my room with Charlie close behind. He was still there when I collapsed onto the most uncomfortable place on earth AKA my matterass.

"Um…" was all he said. Like I said earlier, not a very bright kid.

"'Um' what?" I asked through my pillow.

"Oh, well…I was wondering what exactly the meeting was about."

"Go ask Bellatrix, she pays more attention then I do."

"Um…well…I'd rather ask you." Great, I've got a Frodo named Charlie who likes me. Not that he isn't cute, he just isn't the brightest crayon in the box.

"Look F-I mean Charlie. You're a cute kid and all and you look like someone I know." Or don't know, whatever. "But I have the hangover from hell right now and all I really want to do is sleep. Bellatrix actually listens to the meetings, please ask her."

I then heard him walk out and shut the door. Thank Eru! After that, I fell asleep.

When I woke up, there were two things I noticed; 1) my headache was gone and 2) there were two pairs of eyes staring at me.

"Holy shit!" and there I go, tumbling off the bed.

Bellatrix pulled me up and sat me back down on my bed. "I have two questions to ask you; one, where did you find the Dark Lords liquor collection?"

"I-"

"Don't deny it, I know you found it and that's why you feel sick today. Secondly, do you have any left?" This is why I'm starting to like Bellatrix

I took three bottles out from under my bed and handed one to her, one to Charlie, and I took one for myself.

"I wonder why he hides it," I said.

"Probably just wants it for himself, doesn't like to share," Ballatrix answered, taking a sip. "That and he knows if he doesn't hide it exceptionally well, one of us will find it."

"Selfish basterd," Charlie muttered so only I could hear. "Where did you find it, anyway?"

"Too drunk to remember," I answered so as not to cause too many questions. I'd actually found it under the floorboards in his room.

And there we sat, just the three of us staring out my tiny window in my room, drinking rum and talking only every once in a while.

Life at the Hideout was about to get a lot more interesting.


	7. Way Number 6

Way Number 6: Smile During Death Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows

"Wait, we're doing what?"

"I have no idea…Bellatrix just said we were doing _something_!"

I sighed. Poor Charlie was never able to get _any_ information right.

"Alright, alright." I was trying to think, how exactly could I get out of _this_ one. Usually I was able to get out of any assignment by sticking by Bellatrix, but, this time, _she_ was the one forcing me to go.

"It can't be _that_ bad," Charlie said, trying to be reassuring. And I knew it wasn't going to be, I just had work to do. It had been a month now and the kangaroo ears had worn off, it was time to set the next plan in motion. Plus, there was I list I had made _myself_ of things I had wanted to do in England before I left; people to meet, places to see…

"Besides, I hear Teignmouth is nice this time of year."

Foods to try, games to play…wait. "Teignmouth? _That's_ where we're going?"

Charlie shifted uneasily. "Um…yeah. Didn't I mention that?"

I grinned. I could probably rig something up to have some other Death Eater in house perform the next task on my list. I had my _own_ list!

And number one, two, _and_ three on that list just_ happened _to be in Teignmouth.

----------

I had decided that Eviolla was downright _scary_ when she had that look on her face. Things_ happened_ when she got that look on her face, sometimes downright _unpleasant _things. And every time I told her that, she'd walk away laughing.

It was enough to make any man uneasy.

And now I had to spend a week with her in Teignmouth, which she seemed oddly ecstatic to go to. It wasn't a horrible place to be, but it wasn't exactly the most exciting either. Plus, neither of us knew _exactly _what we were doing there.

Maybe that's why as soon as we got there she conveniently got us lost.

"_My_ plans are more important!" she told me. Somehow I doubted that, but I went along with it anyway.

That's how I found myself standing guard outside a phone booth while she looked through the phone book (for who, she wouldn't tell me). She came out after ten minutes with a list of 13 names.

"What is that for, exactly?" I asked.

"Something for my own enjoyment," she replied. She never gave me straight answers to anything.

"Don't you think everyone else will get angry when they realise we're gone?"

Eviolla shrugged. "Don't worry about it." That was easier said then done. "Right now our job is to track down all these names," she said as she waved the list in front of me. It went by so quickly I couldn't even read the names before she folded it up and tucked it in her pocket. "Lets go."

We went around to about 6 houses, all of which slammed the door in Eviolla's face and threatened to call the Muggle police.

"Are you going to tell me what it is we're doing?!" I asked, frustrated that I had to be kept in the dark about _everything_.

"Nope."

That's it. After two hours, I'd had enough. "I'm going to find the others," I told her as I walked away.

"You have fun then," she called back.

After another two hours, with no luck in finding anyone, I decided to give up and apparated back to headquarters, deciding that dealing with everyone else was better then aimlessly walking around a city with no clue as to where I was.

"Where's Eviolla?" Bellatrix asked when she saw me.

"Busy," I said, annoyed. I honestly didn't care anymore, I just wanted to go back to my room and sleep, or maybe read, or anything.

I ended up falling asleep for the rest of the day. When I woke up, it was time for another meeting. I quickly put on my robes, locked my door, and dashed to the meeting room.

When I got there, I was surprised to see Eviolla, smiling, sitting in her usual spot. And across from her, someone I didn't recognize, obviously a new recruit, who was also smiling.

I knew immediately that something wasn't right.

"Who's that?" I asked as I sat next to Eviolla.

She shrugged, "I honestly have no idea."

It was then that Lord Voldemort walked into the room. He started talking about the success of the mission from yesterday (I _still_ don't know what it was, even though I was _supposedly_ a part of it) and so on and so forth…

Paying attention during these things was so hard sometimes.

And then it happened. The smiling new recruit turned to me and said proudly, "I taught him everything he knows."

I looked at him and blinked. I must have heard wrong. But then he turned to the person sitting next to him (Adam was it?) and repeated himself. And again and again, all around the table, he told everyone, _proudly_, that he'd taught Lord Voldemort all he knows.

Was this bugger out of his _mind!?_

The meeting was stopped, Lord Voldemort obviously annoyed, and the new recruit was dragged out of the room, still saying, "I taught him everything he knows!"

After that, people cleared the room. _No one_ wanted to be near the Dark Lord when he was obviously very, very annoyed.

I managed to catch up with Eviolla in the halls.

"Where did you _go_ yesterday!?"

She just smiled and continued walking to her room.

Something told me I'd _never_ find out…

----------

In a house somewhere in Teignmouth, three boys sat around a table, two with drum sticks (one banging them on the table and the other twirling them in the air humming the theme to Spiderman) and one idly strumming a guitar.

"Any ideas?" the one with the guitar asked. The other two shook their heads. He sighed, at this rate, they'd _never_ come up with a new band name.

It was then that the doorbell rang.

The boy with the guitar got up and opened the door. On the other side was a tiny girl, list in her hand, mumbling something to herself, before she finally looked up and gasped.

"Holy shit! It's _you_!"

The boy looked at her, confused.

"I've been looking for you all day and-oh look! They're the other two!" She waved at the other two boys sitting at the table, who waved back, though rather confused at who this girl was. "I just wanted to say that I think you guys are absolutely _brilliant_! An _inspiration_ to a lot of people and-and-that you're all just so amazingly talented!"

The boys were confused. Their band was good and all, but they weren't really _that_ well known, and this girl sounded like she was American.

"So, yeah," the girl went on, "I just wanted to say that…you're brilliant. And…yeah. That's all!" She gave the boy standing at the door a big hug and then waved to the other two. "Toodles!" And then she ran off.

"What the _hell_ was _that_!?" the boy who had been previously humming the theme to Spiderman asked.

Guitar boy shut the door and stood there for a few moments, thinking. While the encounter had been, well, _strange, _her talk about inspiration had given him an idea…

Then, something historic happened.

Matt Bellamy turned to his band mates, Dominic Howard and Chris Wolstenholme and said, "What do you guys think of the band name Muse?"


End file.
